QDB: Quote #300947
<meanolthing> hmm
<meanolthing> is pornography in or out?
<aizakku> in
<aizakku> then out
<aizakku> then in
<aizakku> then out again
via qdb.us
10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.
via jokes.com
Bizarre Droid Auto-Focus Bug Revealed
Huh. I ended up giving my Win 95 box a woman's name and just chalked it up to "that time of the month."I didn't realize there was a real software reason for it.
I wonder if there's a way to do the same for my wife - you know, fix a software bug.
Gotta run she's home!
via it.slashdot.org
LOLOL
motorola Droids is a phone for women... it will match their 24.5 days cycle :)
If At First You Don’t Succeed, White Lie Again
If At First You Don’t Succeed, White Lie Again
Tech Support | Canada(Note: I help callers with connection problems to our wireless zones along train lines.)
Me: “Hello, tech support. How may I help you?”
Caller: “I can’t access your network!”
Me: “I’m sorry about that, let me help you. Where are you currently, sir?”
Caller: “I’m traveling in between [city] and [another city].”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry sir, but there is maintenance being done in that zone. You will have to wait 20 minutes until you are back in a working zone.”
Caller: “What can I do?”
Me: “Just wait till the train is a bit farther on, and you will have a connection again.”
Caller: “This is terrible! Where’s your manager?”
Me: “Sir, it’s 4 am so I’m the only one working.”
(The customer hangs up, but then calls back again.)
Me: “Hello, tech support. How may I help you?”
Caller: “F***!”
(Once again, he hangs up, and once again, he calls back.)
Me: “Hello, tech support. How may I help you?”
Caller: “F***!”
(Again, he hangs up, and again, he calls back.)
Me: “Hello, tech support. How may I help you?”
Caller: “Look, I have some important stuff to watch here. Can you fix the internet?”
Me: “If you just wait 10 minutes sir, your internet will work again.”
Caller: “So, in my zone, there’s no internet?”
Me: “That’s right, sir.”
Caller: “Can’t you move the satellite so I do have internet?”
Me: “You want me to go into space and move the satellite?”
Caller: *cheerily* “Yeah, that’s right!”
Me: “Umm…well, that might take me a little bit of time, sir. I’ll have to call NASA and they’re very busy these days.”
Caller: “Oh. How long do you think it’ll take?”
Me: “About 10 minutes.”
Caller: “That’s great! Thank you.” *hangs up*
(482 Thumbs Up!)Equivalence, Meet Ignorance
Equivalence, Meet Ignorance
Children's Clothing Store | Boston, MA, USA
Customer: “I’m looking for an outfit for a one year old girl.”
Me: “Sure, all of the twelve month clothing is in this section.”
Customer: “No, she’s one.”
Me: “Right, so that would be over here.”
Customer: “You just said that was twelve months!”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: *slowly* “I’m looking for ONE YEAR.”
Me: “Would you like to go up one size to 18 months?”
Customer: “Is there someone else who can help me?”
(I go and get my manager.)
Manager: “How can I help you?”
Customer: “Your employee doesn’t understand English. I’m looking for clothing for my one year old granddaughter.”
Manager: “The twelve month clothes are over here.”
Customer: “What is WRONG with you people?”
RD @LuisMiguel Uma vez decidi comprar um cabo de segurança para o meu portátil porque achei que me sentiria mais...seguro! Esse sentimento passou no dia em que me roubaram o cabo.
Pensamento do dia
Uma vez decidi comprar um cabo de segurança para o meu portátil porque achei que me sentiria mais...seguro!Esse sentimento passou no dia em que me roubaram o cabo.
Zombies Need High Speed Internet Too
Zombies Need High Speed Internet Too
Tech Support | California, USA
Caller: “When is my DSL install going to be done?”
Me: “In two days, sir.”
Caller: “My wife and children just died in a car accident yesterday. I need the internet sooner than that.”
Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that. I will provide you a complimentary dialup account until your DSL is installed.”
Caller: “But dialup is too slow…cancel my order!”
Me: “Sir, if I cancel your order and you wish to schedule service again later, there is a three week wait.”
Caller: “I don’t care! Do it!”
(The next day, the same customer calls back.)
Caller: “Hi, I need to know when my DSL is being installed.”
Me: “Sir, you canceled your order yesterday. Would you like me to reschedule it?”
Caller: “Yes, but I’m not waiting weeks for it, my wife is divorcing me and my kids need it for school.”
Me: “I’m glad to hear that your wife and children have recovered from the fatal car accident.”
Caller: *silence* “So…can I still get the dialup until my DSL is installed?”
Me: “Absolutely!”
>Customer: “No, no, I mean, does it actually communicate with the Enterprise?”
Hailing Frequencies Open But Nobody’s Home
Retail | Salt Lake City, UT, USA
(My brother runs a company that sells sci-fi and fantasy memorabilia. A customer came up to the table and started inspecting a replica Star Trek communicator.)
Customer: “So does this actually work?”
Me: “Oh, yes. When you flip it open, it lights up and plays
authentic sound effects.”
Customer: “No, no, I mean, does it actually communicate with the Enterprise?”
Me: *joking* “Well, the ship would be out of range if it wasn’t in orbit.”
Customer: *serious* “Oh, right!”
LLOLOLOLOL
One Ink To Rule Them All
One Ink To Rule Them All
Electronics Store | Burlington, ON, CanadaCustomer: “I’d like a cartridge for my printer, please.”
Me: “Yes, of course. Which one would you like?”
Customer: “The one for my printer.”
Me: “Which printer is it?”
Customer: “The one that sits on my desk.”
Me: “What type of printer is it?”
Customer: “The one that sits on my desk.”
Me: “Do you know the type or the cartridge number? Did you bring the cartridge with you?”
Customer: “No. It sits on my desk. You must know which one it is!”
Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t. All of these cartridges are for different types of printers, and I’ll need to know what type of printer you have.”
Customer: “It sits at my desk! You have to know! I bought it here last year!”
Me: “We sell hundreds of printers each year. Is it HP, Lexmark, or Epson?”
Customer: “Look, I bought it here! I need a cartridge and I want it for the printer that sits on my desk!”
Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but unless you know the kind of printer you have, I can’t help you.”
Customer: “What horrible service! I’m never coming back here again!” *storms out*
So kem nunca teve q comprar um cartuxo a pressa ou n assistiu uma compra n sabe o q isto é LOLOLOL
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